Pedro Martinez might be the nastiest pitcher that I have ever witnessed in the history of baseball. I don’t remember Dodgers/Expos Pedro but the Boston Red Sox Pedro is down right dominate.

Ichiro GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

I always loved watching him pitch. Who didn’t? So he was an easy add to my collection. Not to mention, the energy he brought was unparalleled. Nobody could match the level of excitement and enthusiasm he would bring to each and every start.

Win GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY





Brian McCann was another E-Bay purchase of mine as well. He was in the midst of a record breaking 2014 bobblehead binge. There’s really not too much to say besides I saw this bobblehead on-line. I liked it so I had to have it. Even though he currently did not play for Atlanta during the time of the purchase. He was still a favorite of mine.




I got David Wright with Aaron Rodgers in South Florida as well. One I bought for myself and the other was a Christmas present from my brother. I can’t remember which was which.

Somewhere among my realm of computers exist a picture of me flicking off a wax figure of David Wright at a wax museum. However, this was in 2007 when the Mets were good and were smoking the Braves. In 2014 my disdain towards them had ceased so I added David Wright to my collection.

My Fictional Starting Rotation

If you are a fan of baseball movies then look no further. I have decided to compile my very own fictional starting rotation. Let’s start with the number five spot.


“Will I win? Will I win? Will I win, win, win?”

Whitt Bass GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Gotta love the signature slide.

Whitt Bass GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“Bass sets, and sets, and sets again.”

Whitt Bass GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Before Neal McDonough was Damien Darhk running around Central City chasing Oliver Queen, he was Whitt Bass. The beloved, goofy, right-handed pitcher of the California Angels. And that is how I will always remember him.

If this was a contest based on my personal favorite then Bass would be number one. But it is somewhat talent related so he fits in at the number five spot.


“I am 12”

The twelve year old, Carlos, will be taking the mound for me in the four spot.

Benchwarmers GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

While he does smoke on the field, get hammered during the games, and appear a lot older than twelve, this guy oozes potential. And at a solid twelve years old, that’s a steal. Hey, he says he’s twelve and has documentation to prove it. Who am I to say he’s wrong?

Benchwarmers GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Okay. Maybe he’s not twelve. Two-thirds of his competition is completely talentless and he’s throwing off of a mound made for pre-teens. He’s still worth taking a flyer on so he slides into the four spot of my rotation. Plus, look at this guy’s energy and enthusiasm. It’s simply unmatchable.

Benchwarmers GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY


Actual twelve year old, Henry Rowengartner, gets the ball as my game three starter. Let’s just hope for more of this.

Rookie Of The Year GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

And less of this.

Rookie GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Seriously, the twelve year old has some filthy stuff with the ability to top a hundred miles per hour with ease. He even strikes out Barry Bonds. Barry Bonds!!!

Rookie GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

As long as his arm is magic and healthy, there’s no stopping this cat. He could and probably should be the number one guy but he’ll have to settle for the three spot. For now.


I have another angel in my rotation. However, this one gets ranked a little higher. Angel or no angel. I want the ball in Mel Clark’s hands in a big game scenario.

Mel Clark GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Even Whitt Bass can’t knock the talent.

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The dude is hammering down shutouts on the brink of death.

Angels In The Outfield GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Maybe I only have a year with him before he passes. But who knows, maybe he comes back as an angel to help our team win some games. It could happen.

Angels In The Outfield GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY


Could I really have a fictional pitching rotation without “the Wild Thing” cracking an appearance?

Sheen GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

The answer is no. And that’s why he is my ace. My game seven starter.

Major League GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY


Okay. So maybe this team may never win a game. Ever. But they would make me a lot of hypothetical money. These guys would sell tickets. They all bring passion, excitement, enthusiasm, charisma. And who brings more emotion than the journeyman, Kenny Powers?

Fuck You GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

There’s a solid chance that Powers may blow every save. There’s a better chance that him and Carlos fight during each and every game. But there is also the chance that he strikes everyone out and does this. I’m willing to take that risk.

Eastbound And Down GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Justin Upton Bobblehead



I got this Justin Upton bobblehead during the same trip that I got the Andrelton Simmons bobblehead. At one point in time Justin Upton was my favorite player on the Braves. But those times are over with considering we traded that team. However, he will always have a place in the Stoeter Bobblehead Collection.

Andrelton Simmons Bobblehead



The next bobble to the collection is Andrelton Simmons, another Curacao native. I got him at a Braves game in 2014 on my birthday or the day after. I can’t remember.

I miss you Andrelton. Dansby Swanson has made this break up easier but I still think about you from time to time. Speaking of Dansby, I’m excited to snag his bobblehead this summer. But regardless, you’re the GOAT when it comes to defensive shortstops. May the force be with you in Los Angeles and maybe our paths will cross once again.

Andrelton Simmons appreciation gif:

Andrelton Simmons GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Andruw Jones Bobblehead



Andruw Jones is either the fourth or fifth bobblehead to the collection. I can’t remember if I got him or Michael Vick first. But he is also an E-Bay buy as well. He was purchased in 2010. He is the last member of the Stoeter Fab Five. And believe it or not, I didn’t buy another bobblehead until 2014. And things got a little serious after that.

Tim Hudson Bobblehead



Tim Hudson is the second bobblehead that is in the collection. He’s a part of the Stoeter Fab Five. I got him at a Braves game as well. Are you starting to see a pattern here?

There was a wheel of fortune type spin wheel with multiple prizes. I just so happened to land on the Tim Hudson bobble and the rest is history.

Gary Sheffield Bobblehead



This is the OG of my bobblehead collection. This is the first bobble that I got that I still have in my collection. I remember having a Jeff Kent and a Kurt Angle bobblehead back in the day but I don’t know what happened to them.

I got this bobble at a Braves game in 2003. Mr. Sheffield stayed in the box until 2010 until I decided to open him. That’s how he stayed so safe. A drunken Dan once broke him but it was the cleanest break I’ve ever seen on a bobblehead so I super-glued him back together; and he still remains the OG Bobble of the collection.

Chipper Jones Bobblehead



The third bobblehead to make the collection is Chipper Jones who made his arrival in 2010. I got him at a Braves game as well. Chipper, Tim Hudson, and Sheffield together have each lived in eight different houses tied for the total amount of houses for a bobble.

He’s a part of the Stoeter Fab Five that really started my collection. The Fab Five includes Sheffield, Hudson, Chipper, Vick, and Andruw Jones.